How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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