I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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