So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
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I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
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Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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