I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
