Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
