WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
When did angry sex become our thing?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
