I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
