I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
