Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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