And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
