my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I got inside last night via doggy door
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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