i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
