i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
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maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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