Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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