i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
