Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
