Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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