i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
