he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
