Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
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