would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
my being single is dangerous.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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