You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
