I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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