There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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