The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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