What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
