I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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