Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
