Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
