Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
