I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Couch. On fire.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize