her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize