he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
