U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize