around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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