Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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