If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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