Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
