I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
