it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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