I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
