i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
