you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
