i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
