just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I think people are normalizing furries
You ruined the universe
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
