I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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