3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
