Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
