guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I think I just sharted jello shots
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