No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
