some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize