I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
