New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
