I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
