i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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