You just made me feel so damn special
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
