Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
