I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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