I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
