I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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