I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
