Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
