I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
