I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
My pussy is not your playground.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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