pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
can u get pink eye on your cock?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
