Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize