Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
